Please pardon, the strange digression that appeared a few days ago. During my early years, I would be so highly impressed by the most trivial of possessions, a shiny vintage Porsche, a Rolex watch, a large Manor home with a sprawling yards plus out-buildings, and the amazing potential profit that seemingly existed in various ventures: business, research, and investment. Over a few decades, the Mary Tyler Moore-like marvel of "tall-sounding or looking," possessions dissipated! Life has taught many many can be purchased for nearly nothing or with the properly structured transactions be completely free of cost, without stealing based upon any legal statute in any developed nation.
But, with the appearance of wealth comes "friendship", "smiles", "kind touches", "shining eyes", "warm words", and a plethora of other "gifts" [poisons]!
I prefer "real".
Once again, someone saw some little trinket which I had and thought that it had great value! Hence, I was taken through a nightmare of non-stop running water from that apartment above, frequent late nights of thumping music, and other disturbances, preventing a sound sleep. And, subsequently, making workdays unpleasant and unproductive. This is common practice in most shared living environments, such as apartments and other similar connected living spaces. This was my thirty-six month struggle while in graduate school at the University of Texas at Dallas. I was doing well if I had an hour of sound sleep each night, at that time! Most frequently, some neighbor expects that one pays a fee for peace and quiet.
Having a website that cost less than most Americans pay for a prepaid phone each month, yet having the software development knowledge that allows for the construction of a few pages that have the appearance of potential value, makes some believe that one has more wealth than one actually has. I am not the least bit pretentious and incredibly honest about my possessions, what their actual value and how much they cost. This includes my collection of specialty cuff-links. Some might say that they are made from a special alloy and hand-painted. In truth, they are some base metal, were purchased for less than five dollars each, and with international shipping cost less than the thirty dollar onyx one purchased at steep discount from a local department store around 1990. The very ones which State Farm, my good neighbor, and Mark David Renovations never returned, along with my first dollar earned, a silver note, silver and gold notes given by a grandparents who spend her life as a sharecropper, an NFL football autographed by Jim Elway and the 1992 Defensive Rookie of the Year at Denver. plus other team members! Yet, it is always my fault when misfortune occurs. Yet, this is an aside!
Most Americans are entangled in the trap of appearances. Some feign poverty, while owning various investments that exceed that the wealth held by 95% of the families in their area. And, these will beg at every soup kitchen, food bank, and church door in town! This is their prerogative! Other feign great wealth in the hopes of duping others in handing over life savings, with the dream of obtaining more millions. And, then some, such as myself, will don a french cuff shirt by a non-mainstream shirt maker, suits by labels that have long lost their lustre, and classic styles and tailoring from the late 1940s-50s, that re-surfaced int he late-1980s during college hey-days, with bow-ties, pockets squares, most of which is found at discount clothiers and thrift stores, and some young person who does not know what cost a fortune in markets where the latest suits styles are entering the continent will think that someone near the age of fifty is a millionaire, simply because he can look somewhat nifty, when he is not not wearing his customary denim dungarees, t-shirt, sweater, and sneakers.
Appearances..Appearances!
So, I moved on, left behind a small fortune in writings from Western philosophers in a large green dumpster, and simply shook my head at this silly-world!
The stresses of living in America!
It is truly a shame when adults well over the age of accountable based on American legal standards will lie, fib, and prevaricate for the pettiest of rewards. This was evident while an instructor at places such as Southern Methodist University.
And, the most distressing aspect of my existence is that I have have been a small part of numerous business efforts since my youth. Reluctantly, at times, and willing at others, the products which have sprung forth from a few of my recorded thoughts and well-known statements, have some believing that I have great sums of money residing somewhere or another!
This is not the case! And, I am ever-so thankful for this!
Being content with enough that I can live in a reasonably peaceful environment suits me quite well!
Wealth is much like that old childhood sport of "kill the man with ball". The high-profile lives of entertainers such a the 1980s Guess jeans model is a perfect example. A young woman was "spotted" in a shopping mall. A fashion designer decided that he would have some fun making a new starlet, taking her on a roller-coaster rider of fame, fortune, and, ultimately, the secret nightmare associated with being well-known, wealthy, and vulnerable!
During that last four decades, I have been driven away from numerous seemingly minor thoughts, that someone felt had value. Honestly, I have never much cared. First, if other humans are completely incapable of such reasoning, this world is in serious trouble. Furthermore, if this is the case, they are likely so extremely evil, it best that I simply let them have what was taken and the value which they perceive in it! And, usually after having something of the inconsequential value taken, they stop being aggressive and start smiling, grinning, and joking around me. And, once again, I am in the the good graces of individuals who could perish in the most hideous of heel for all that I am concerned, based upon the aggravation that this horde has caused in my life.
During my adult life, I have only become aggressive once. And, it was not about money! It was about a community which should have simply let me proceed in life along the path which was progressing in ways that it could not withstand in the late 1970s and 1980s. It appeared that it would be a life of sunny-days, starry-nights, and many peaceful afternoons teaching on the lawns of the many well-respected institutions of America's most elite college and universities. It most likely would been in the best interest of many, had they simply not tried channeling the flow my life's river. But, few among the inhabitants of this Mid-West region of America accept in their hearts the belief that all of humanity is inextricably tied. In all honesty, our human behavior and choices effect the lives of animals, plants, and the long-term shape of the Earth's landscape.
And, frequently, some know that I do not have much and am surviving on a day or day, or month by month basis, when that same old petty turmoil surrounding my life has settled down in this community! Yet, other like stirring up trouble, claiming that I have large sums of cash hidden in bank accounts overseas, the Caribbean, or business names in American institutions. And, it never fails that they are claiming I have committed some crime or another, but it cannot be proven. In all honesty, the only time, that I was in a police station and questioned, the interrogation was half-hearted, lasting less than three minutes in March of 1999.
Eventually, they will all learn! What comes around , eventually, lands in the lamps of the person who started the unneeded turmoil. I have been held in held hospital settings for weeks without WWW access, while being accused of harassing individuals with electronic mail at that very time. Simply, because someone believes that I have millions somewhere. Why America is this way? It simply is!
And, in retrospect, this grasshopper, of sorts, has been fighting a barrage of ants, since he set-out for college in the Fall of 1988. Yet, he will never hear the end of how he was supposedly "fighting-over-money" in March of 1999. Had not the "money-fight" originated in the "late-1970s - 1980s" with the crew that placed me in that work situation in March 1999, by making only one option for computing employment available in a market that was starving for computing personnel.
It is sad when one's own contraption explodes and damages himself. But, such a phenomenon is not rare. A student whom I knew in junior nearly killed himself, when his siblings and he were making pipe bombs.
And, this him harmed in March of 1999, was not necessarily the person whom I injured, but the whole conglomerate of individuals in this mad-capped, bumbling, unorganized, unethical business-network, including city-hall, law enforcement, minor local business interest, public school personnel, medical professionals, and a dab of dim-wits, knit-wits, and twits called the whirling-durbish in which I am caught!
The fear that many felt, when I said that a "half-rainbow" was seen on my door-step, probably registered on seismic meters in the australian outback! It seems that some are simply hell-bent on making me miserable!
And, with the true form of any abuser or molester, they start making a joke of their abusive and completely unacceptable behavior, as soon as, they fear they are caught or believe that I have forgotten, start trusting some other branch of their inherently perverted social network, and this non-sense starts all over again.
Mostly likely, someone who knows the true cost of what I have and the nature of my finances, start crying foul, injustices, he must pay! This America and has been the experience of most, if not all African American seeking some level of life progress beyond what their immediate environment can withstand. That America folks! Founded upon Christian principles but has never approach a true Christian standard of living. Yet, is so extremely egotistical, vain, and filled with Pharisees that it shall never repent with a corporate motion nor openly admit its ugliest flaws! In the current of its society resists any public signs of sincere and devout faith practice of families, men, women, widows, or orphans for those who share the common five Books of Law found in the Old Testament. This also makes faithful practice of dietary laws by certain Eastern faiths, a near impossibility!
The currency states if best, "In God we trust", Yet, our focus is that very same currency! It is frequently our idol! It is not uncommon that the storehouses of faithful givers is misused by ministry leadership. This is nothing new! And, Roman 1-3, saying what the consequences of have other idols is! So, hence, the underground America which slowly reaches the surface of everyday life!
When anyone of any age, in a Christian country cannot accept or understand why a person would enjoy not fornicating, in any shape or form, and never properly marrying, it is sign of severe "sin-sickness" in such a community!
Yet, very few in this country read the entire Protestant or Catholic cannons, the most commonly reported faith walks!
Well, so be it!
It has been quite a struggle improving my personal behaviors, which were better than most in my immediate community could withstand. When I try lifting those whom will accept help, they usually try throwing me in the very miserable state that they had been in.
This might sound cruel! If one is looking for freedom from their personal problems, ask Jonah. He truly will have more understanding and concern than I will! Some say that no one will be left behind! But, folks, I must save myself! And, in strict interpretation of scripture, He might turn his back on me when I asked that approach the judgement seat! That is the truth. It is reality! And, mostly would be considered nearly a "model citizen" by most!
It is true that His Blood covers sin! But, it also true what was stated on the Mount during His well-known Sermon in Matthew 5:17-20. Many Christians teachers will not say so. This saying will not sell books or fill collection plates. The Blood is for those sin we have trouble controlling, but for those who can pick themselves up, they should do so! And, those who have fallen, should never stop striving for a better lifestyle!
I am always chastised for saying this! So save yourselves folks! As, scripture says, Do not let any human be your teacher, only the Holy Ghost should provide this guidance. Unfortunately, many adults in this nation do not have the basic religious training provided by a few years of Sunday School while children. And, many more struggle with the very reading comprehension skills need for completing the modern high school exit exams. Asking that they read a traditional Bible from the mid-1950s is completely out of the question. As Christ said, they are sheep without a Shepherd!
They are being fleeced and providing the mutton fattening those who should be feeding them!
This is America.
One of Christ's other famous difficult sayings was about marrying once and only once! This standard is met in America less frequently that the spectacular eclipse, accompanied by a hail-storm experienced a few weeks ago in this part of the Heartland! It seemed like the end of the world for some! And, such a faithful Christian walk in this country might be a sign for some that the ultimate end of mankind is near! Well, as Christ said, this untoward, wicked, and perverse generation seek signs of His Existence, His Return, or whether He or His Father, Or The Holy Ghost exist! And, worse yet, the ask for signs determining how they should progress in life!
And, for those who feel faith, church, and the associated activities are simply fun and games. A source of profit for some! And, entertaining weekend show. And, time for enjoying some inspirational music and a motivational message, so one might unwind your stress mechanism. This is fine! If that is all it for you! Why should any judge! That cover charge is only the customary community offering of a dollar or so!
For those who want more, it is available! The path will not be pleasant. Many will hate, ridicule, and mock you! But, if your life! If someone enjoys prancing along the main thoroughfare with a rainbow ribbon in chanting GQBLT slogans. That is them! If the enjoy wearing stain hoods and robes screaming hateful chants. That is them! This all protected by modern American sentiment! And, they all say this is my life. These are my choices made as an adult! I will stand, fall, or die by them!
Being the son of Christian parents, albeit flawed, hearing that admonishment that I am one second off beating your behind and half of it is gone, before an age when I could tell time on an analog chronograph, I have learned that a soft answer turns away wrath plus simply taking the blame for mistakes which were not wholly mine and quite frequently only partially my doing settled most situations.
But, America I cannot take the blame for this, your mess of greed, confusion, hatred, violence, blasphemy, fornication, and the never-ending of sins that have coursed through the very pulse of this country's institutions: political, academic, religious, economic, medical, and such.
It might be wise if you look at the temptor who spoke with Christ during His Wilderness experience! It has been said that the great deception perpetrated during the South's Reconstruction after the Civil War was that every American, without regarding skin tone, hair texture, eye color, nationality, race, religion, or creed had equal standing. Plessey versus Fergusson showed otherwise! The federal laws on the books had very little weight in preventing those who sought social division in this country!
And, some say, "that the biggest sin that the devil perpetrated against man, was convincing mankind that it does not exist!" Some might consider this a subtle use of English, based upon how many African-Americans communicated in eras long past. In truth, many Americans see scripture as a mere fable, a way of controlling a child's behavior until it he reaches an age, at which he can be responsible for his own actions and will not cause any lawsuit that might cost a parent his retirement savings! They would not say so openly, since such is not popular. The rate of upon atheism is quite high in America! Those who seek a devout theism are hated for openly doing so!
In fact, I could have been easily lynched in most municipalities in the eras preceding the 1970s for disagreeing with an European American pastor on any religious statement which he made! And, it is quite true in certain parts of America this very day! The Blue Letter Bible dropped my daily devotion request, simply because I disagreed with one of their teachers of the very topic Christ's statement found in Matthew 5:17-20 versus a teaching that always results in religious disobedience and sin!
This is their choice! I know why some teach this way! I remember, was it Balak or Balaam?, when he sought the demise of the Hebrew children!
And, whether some within the Christian walk, hope that they can selectively make others stumble while successfully leading those they chose along, I do not certainly know! But, once again, This passage in Matthew 5:17-20 says much!
Many who simply attend, for the social benefits of approval and networking, would not dare question any word spoken from a pulpit. And, they would not seek any resolution in His Word. At the first sight of contradiction, many simply say, "It is as I thought!". And, many never attend church again!
Yet, they will search for profit potential in every sales seminar, get-rich-quick scheme, and on-line work-at-home for $5K per week scheme! This is America! Priorities!
Over, the years, for whatever reason, many simple ideas jotted in the pages of a journal, the very type that aspiring young scientists keep, and thoughts shared here and yonder have ended up in modern products! Most of those around me, in this community, are more concerned with whether I am influencing modern computing, engineering, and many household products! They could care less about learning of Him, His Way, or the Christian Walk! They will spend day after day, hoping they can show that I am incapable of the very level of mental functioning most elementary students who spend afternoons watching public televisions find simplistic! That I have never had a single original thought nor daydream that most children of the seventies who dared see an episode of Star Trek would stream across their imagination. But, they will not pick up the sixty-seven book of the Protestant cannon or the seventy of the Catholic one.
This is America. And, the most fitting death for any of us, more merciful that any of the most of deserve, is the one I witnessed of a dog purchased from the pound with heart-worms. It was mad, foaming at the most for days, then early one morning it started coughing up worms and vomit, it dined upon this around noon, then stopped moving. The same humane society who should have euthanized it before selling and refused handling it when it was frothing at the mouth, eventually scooped it up and placed it in a garbage bag around sundown!
But, this is based upon my perspective of what we, most adults, merit. I have always accepted any punitive judgment coming my way! Quite frankly, numerous ones that were undeserved! So, when I say this would be a light, merciful judgement for the vast majority of Americans, I feel that it is reasonably honest!
But, many modern Americans feel that they are being unduly put upon, if they are asked the they repay at least the amount stolen from another! And, be wary of the corporate criminals who are much more dangerous than the hapless horde of gypsies who run, between this town and the next, swindling one kind-hearted person after another!
What a sad, dare it say pathetic situation, America.
May He Have Mercy Up Us All In Our Eternal Stupidity! Wee America!
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